Lesson 7: The Death of My Potted Plants

I know I already wrote below on lawn and garden care, but this honestly is a never ending topic! I'm not kidding. As you all know I was out of town all of the last week for work and I'm going to blame that one week away on the horrendous condition my potted plants are. In all honesty though, my potted plants were doomed from the start. The day I brought home my very first two potted plants I feel like 10 minutes after I hung them they started dying. They rebelled against my potted plant regimen and to show me, they began acting up in a very ugly way!

The pictures below show you the current condition of my three potted plants:

Plant #1: I honestly did not plant that stick there... it was there when I took the picture!

Plant #2: Well, it speaks for itself. 

Plant #3: This is how I found it this morning, NOT kidding!

Okay, so those pictures are a tad horrifying! I know! Plant #1 has never been a friend as the day I brought it home it refused to bloom right away and then it started growing it's arms and legs in every which way. I like to tell people when they come over that Plant #1 is very reminiscent of Einstein's hair.
Plant #2 bloomed so beautifully when I first brought it home. I even liked this plant so I would feed it miracle grow from time to time (it was my favourite so I gave her a special tonic to show her) but lately all it wants to do is die and shrivel up and turn brown. It's like she's turned into an ugly person who can't live without the special tonic. I haven't given it to her in days so maybe she's in with drawl??
Plant #3... well, as you can see it committed suicide yesterday or last night. I don't blame it. It was mint and it started to look pretty funky. I felt like it was trying to grow out of the pot so it could run away and re-plant itself in my neighbours gardens (which are so nice). Instead, she just decided it wasn't worth continuing and plunged off of the ledge of my gazebo tent.

People keep telling me the following: 
1. You can't over water.
2. You have to make sure it's getting the right sunlight.
3. Make sure you're giving them plant food.
4. Make sure the soil is damp but not too damp.
5. You may have to prune them (hair cut).

Honestly, potted plants are like having children except they don't talk back to you and ask you to buy them pretty things! I did not sign up for this. You're probably wondering what I'm going to do right? Well, I think that Plant #1 and #2 are going to survive and since I refuse to give in to their neediness they will hopefully bloom for a bit longer till the fall hits. Plant #3 I'm going to let lay on the ground for a bit as it's way too hot for me to go outside and clean it up (it's over 90 degrees here today), but when I do clean it up I'm going to tell it that it should have been grateful for what it had.

Things I learned from Lesson #7:
1. If you don't want the responsibility of children, don't get potted plants. You're just setting yourself up for disappointment.
2. Cactus and fern type plants apparently are impossible to kill. I recommend those.
3. Don't spend a lot of money on pretty pots because your plants just may rebel and not only ruin themselves but shatter the nice home I gave them. I could have reused that pot for something else!